I swear...

...one of these days I will have internet at my apartment and will better be able to blog! I seriously can't believe that besides my stupid little "I'm alive" statement in September, I haven't done anything with this since the week before I started my new job. Ugggh. I am a horrible person. I went out with some friends from my ward last night (Becky, Lisa, and Kate) and a couple other girls that Lisa knew to see another fellow ward member, Aaron Shaw, dance at a concert at BYU. He was awesome! Before that, we were eating at Pizzeria 712 in Orem and discussing our blogs...or for me, lack of posting. And they have inspired me to get my butt back into gear! I really only have access to internet at work and if I go to the library, so if I'm a little slow getting started, I apologize. But the intention is there! That reminds me of something my Government teacher in high school told me. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Miller, you're on your way!" Good old Mr. Gilbertson. Okay okay I'll do it! But I'll have to sacrifice the 1 block walk to the library. Wow can you say lazy...

It's been a loooong time...

Wow. Did I really just go the whole summer (and then some) without posting at all? Hahaha I can't help but laugh that the last time I updated was May 27th. Well, here I am, 4 months later...not any cooler or more exciting than I was then....


....Yeah that's really sad. Hopefully an update to come soon. Don't hold your breath, though.

The National Anthem.

I’ve always loved the Star-Spangled Banner. The song conveys so much feeling. As most of you know, when I graduated, my high school’s choir took a trip to Boston and sang at Fenway Park. 2 years later, my brother got to do the same thing in New York. To see the video, click here. Ammon is right in the center in the front.

And just for fun, click here to see mine. I’m standing front and center too.

Time for some new stuff.

So a little over a year ago, I had dedicated a post to my brother Ammon, who was then turning 16. I put a couple of his YouTube videos up. All the ones I had posted are no longer on his account because of some form of copyright infringement (because of the music that he used). So since he just continues to get funnier and funnier, I thought I would put a few more up. Enjoy!

JB. And J-O-B.

Today is my best friend’s birthday. Jordan Bondley. We’ve been friends since our sophomore year of high school when we started working at Papa Murphy’s together, and we worked together until I moved to Utah 3 years later.

We went to different schools. He went to Century High School (BOO), and I, of course, went to Bismarck High School. He came to my school’s Junior Winter Formal with me…

…and he asked me to his school’s Senior Prom.

We’ve always kind of stuck together because while all of our other friends were out drinking and partying, we were pretty much the only ones who didn’t. That’s a rarity where we grew up.

I really appreciate him for being able to stick up for the things he believes in. Even with both of us coming from different religious backgrounds, it’s still evident that we recognize God’s existence in our lives.

So, Happy Birthday, best friend. Hope you have a great day!

In other news…I received a call today telling me that I AM BEING OFFERED A JOB! Woohoo! I will still be working just a couple hours at night at the salon, but starting June 2nd, I’ll be working with my sister Monica, full time and making way more money than I am right now. I’m so glad I have this opportunity! Yay!

Stuck in the middle of life.

So, here I am. I am alive! I realize it’s been well over a month since I last posted. There are so many things that are going on in my life right now, and I know you’re all dying to know. I have enough to blog about everyday for the next two weeks. But, the question is whether or not it should be blogged about. So I’d rather not risk it.

So why do I have a blog in the first place? I don’t have anything clever to say, or anything particularly funny to share. I feel like the thoughts that I have and the things I do are only understood to me, like no one out there completely gets me.  My blog is to share the times that I am happiest, the times I am the saddest. The times I’m completely angry, the times I have reoccurring thoughts I just can’t get rid of. The times I learn something new, the times I set new goals for myself. I know I haven’t done a very good job of blogging on a regular basis, I’ve just kind of been in a slump lately. I keep to myself more so than I have my entire life. Which leads to the purpose of the title of this post…

I feel like I’m discovering who I am all over again. I thought I had figured that out a long time ago. There are things I used to love that I don’t anymore. There are things I used to hate, but now love. There are things I’ve tried that I never thought I’d have the courage to do. There are just so many things about me I didn’t know existed or would ever exist until recently. And there is just one experience after the other that changes my perceptions and opinions about life. I can’t help but be human and feel like I’m stuck and alone. Sometimes I feel like everyone else is smarter than me and that I don’t have the ability to understand complex or basic concepts.

But the best thing I’ve discovered is that some things are meant to change, and that I will never be alone.

There is one little bit of my patriarchal blessing I feel is appropriate to share. It says, “You will have to make decisions in your life and Heavenly Father is giving you the promise that He will respond to your sincere prayers as you go to Him in faith and as you believe that He will answer you, He will indeed do so. Sister Leah, you will never be alone in your life. Heavenly Father is giving you rich blessings. He is giving you the strength to understand the things you learn.”

What a comfort that is to me! And I love that it can be applied to everyone. Even when I am confused and don’t know what will come of difficult decisions, or I am at the lowest of lows, I do know what I want out of my earthly existence, and I know what my ultimate goal is. I know that I would be lost without the Gospel. I am forever in debt to the Savior. I know that I’m a daughter of God, and that I have a purpose in being on the earth at this time. I’m thankful to be blessed with such great family members and friends (who have become like family) that care so much about me and love me, no matter what good decisions or stupid mistakes I make. I’ve come to learn that I need to be humble enough to ask for a priesthood blessing sometimes. I’m grateful for the priesthood, and the friends I have that honor it and live worthily to be able to use it. The blessings I receive from Jesus Christ through those friends are just more of a testimony to me that God is completely aware of me.

How can anyone believe that Christ doesn’t live? I’ve never ever doubted it. I can see it in every detail. I feel His love and presence constantly. I hope I can continue to strengthen my relationship with Him.

From Piglet to Mexico

This is me and my good friend Ben, watching Winnie the Pooh when we were 2 or 3.

Ben is my best and oldest friend. Yesterday I had the great opportunity to attend his mission farewell. For certain reasons I knew I wasn't going to make it on time, and I was getting worried. But I ended up getting to the church just in time to hear the last 3 minutes of his talk, and I'm so happy I even got to hear that. As soon as I sat down and listened to him speak, I was automatically filled with the Spirit. I knew that he has been called of God to go on a mission and serve the people of central Mexico. He spoke of serving people and sharing the gospel, and when he started talking about his wonderful family, I began to tear up. I've known him and his family for just about my whole life and everything he said was true. He has such a great testimony. I'm sad I won't see him for two years, but it will be just fine. He enters the MTC on Wednesday morning.




I wish you the best of luck Elder Buxton! You, your family, and the Mexican people will be greatly blessed!