Oh, mother.

Have you ever met my mom? Not sure? Oh trust me, if you have, you'd know. There's no forgetting that little spitfire of a lady. So let me enlighten you, if you haven't had the privilege yet.

 

Just a few things she loves: the Gospel and the Savior, her family (me, especially), the Red Sox, starting sentences with "As you Americans say...", the pronunciation of any Spanish word or name that allows her to use an accent, calling my father a "Fuddy Duddy", Facebook, her Blackberry, using Facebook on her Blackberry, the color purple, cute shoes, making her delicious chicken enchiladas for my friends, taking multiple (and I mean MULTIPLE) pictures of us kids at every single family event and driving us crazy, and quite possibly more than anything else...her celebrity crush Matthew McConaughey.

A few things she hates: cats, "nasty dirty socks", Oprah, Dr. Phil, and Snoop Dogg. That's all I could come up with. But boy, does she ever emphasize how much she hates those things!

The reason for this post? One year ago today, my entire family was fasting together for her as we had found out a couple of days before that her doctor had found cancer in her breast. Even though it really was just a scare, and it was able to get taken care of quickly, I remember feeling so sad and lost when my dad called me that day. I even talked to her the next day and she was just fine, and I still felt scared and it was hard to get rid of the thought that she could be gone. I couldn't understand why she was so calm and I was having such a hard time with it.

Everything is fine and dandy now, but that experience really taught me not to take anything she does for granted. I'm so glad I have the relationship I do with her. It makes me happy to know that I can tell her absolutely anything and I don't have to worry about judgement. I love that we talk frequently on the phone, most of the time for hours, and that she worries when a few days have gone by without that communication. I think it's awesome how up to date she is with what's "cool". I love getting texts and Facebook notifications from her. And all of my friends love her! She really is the coolest mom. She is so funny. Ask anyone, I quite often will start laughing out of nowhere and say, "Oh, I'm just thinking about something funny my mom said." True story. I'm grateful for the example she's been to me my whole life. I hope everyone can have the same kind of relationship with their mom that I have with mine.

So, go tell your mom how much you love her. She will appreciate it.

I love you, Mom. Thanks for being the best ever!

When Life hands you Lemons...

As I'm sitting here at work waiting for my ride home to come get me, I debate what to talk about. I hate being the girl that constantly complains about her problems, so I'm hesitant to vent about the current situations getting me down. On second thought, this is my blog and I can write about whatever the heck I want. Hmmm. It's tempting.

Even though venting, writing, and talking about problems can be therapeutic, most of the time it just leaves the things I don't want to think about fresh in my mind, therefore making me sad and causing me to dwell on them. That being said, I'm taking on a new mantra:

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. TRUE STORY."
-Neil Patrick Harris

(Thanks, Suz!)

It's easy to complain and it's easy to be miserable. Way too easy. Especially for me. It's easy to forget about all the amazing things this life has to offer when you're sideswiped with life's next challenge (or the same reoccuring one). And honestly, this last obstacle has left me more heartbroken and in more internal pain than any other time that I can remember. But it's something that's out of my control, and there's nothing I can do to change it.

So, what now? Where do I go from here? How am I supposed to keep going when it's hard to even get out of bed in the morning? All common questions. And most of the time, I don't think anyone really knows the answers to those questions. But if I've learned anything from the 21 years of experience I've had on earth, I've learned that sometimes all you can do is put a smile on and literally keep a constant prayer in your heart. You might not always feel happy, but if you really try, you will be eventually. I've had to take it hour by hour every day for the last 2 and a half weeks, and sometimes, even after doing everything I can, I still feel sad at the end of day. There will always be days like that. And when that happens, I try to remember these scriptures from D&C 121:

7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.

10 Thou art not yet as Job...

I love the last part. "Thou art not yet as Job." No matter what you're going through, it's never as bad as it could be. There is always someone else that has it worse, and it can be a very humbling experience when you really understand that.

And even though Heavenly Father hates to see us suffer, He's not going to take our trials away from us. Mosiah 24 helped me to understand that:

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

I'm sure you know all of the above already. I realize I'm not the only one who has problems. But being able to talk about how to be happy, instead of the underlying issue that prefaced this post to begin with, already has made me feel like I'm making some sort of progress. I feel like I've said the things I'm supposed to say.

I'm so thankful for all of my wonderful family members who love and support me no matter what. For my fantastic work friends who help make 8 hours of monotony not so monotonous and keep me laughing. For my roommate who is the best listener, knows how to brighten my day, and really knows the meaning of service. And for all the others close to me who are the best friends anyone could ask for.

And now I'm off to go be AWESOME.

Happiness = me.

And here's why.

1) I can't believe my brother Ammon is graduating from high school already. He has accomplished so much, I'm so happy for him. I can't wait to hear his speech at the ceremony...I'm sure it will be absolutely hilarious. 7 days and counting until I get to go home!

2) I've had lots of sister time lately. It's the best! I'm also very grateful for my friends. It feels like I finally have a balanced social life again. When I first came out here I think I spent way too much time with friends...I didn't do so well in school. Last year I spent way too much time by myself and became shy and not so outgoing. And this time around, it's pretty much perfect.

3) It's been great to see a lot of progress in myself spiritually and mentally. It's so motivating and keeps me on the right track. I'm glad that if nothing else in my day goes as planned, there will always be a couple of good habits that I won't break.

4) I have the best roommate! I absolutely love Becky.

5) I've been thinking alot lately about how I need to do more service. And what do you know, I just got called on Sunday to be on the compassionate service committee in my ward. So excited! :)

6) This man is coming to Salt Lake on July 13th.

AHHHHH! I hope I'll be able to go. I LOVE YOU PAUL!

7) My friend Chris and I are going to New York City and Boston on July 14-21! Gonna see all the sights, go to a couple baseball games, and hopefully go to the Manhattan temple. 55 days!

8) I'm going to start training next week. For what, you ask? THIS. You read that right. I am running the Ragnar in October in Las Vegas! I've never done anything like that before, and I can't wait to start.

Life is good, people. Life is good.

My latest obsession.

The past 2 weeks have been filled with great times catching up with old friends and hanging out with new ones. The single life has been hard to adjust to, but I'm so happy to have such a great supportive family and understanding friends. I've started taking pictures again (finally!) and will be more than happy to document my nights and share with you all as soon as I can. I uploaded my pictures on to my friend Natasha's computer and haven't had time to blog them yet, but they're coming soon, I promise. I'm at the library right now, otherwise it would be done already.

I'm very happy to report that I have started going back to the gym! I was pretty faithful right after I got my Gold's pass a few months ago, and I even went over Thanksgiving break while I was at home. I know I know...who goes after a holiday weekend spent eating a ton of food? Well, I do. I started to feel better about myself in a way that I never have before. Not that I feel like I need to lose weight or anything, I just didn't feel healthy. Anyway, after I got back to Utah I went twice more at the beginning of December, and then got out of the habit and didn't go back. Until this week, and I'm already addicted again. I love being there. I am building up my endurance with running everyday and each day I switch off between weights/circuit excercises and abs/pilates. It is AMAZING. I'm currently very sore since it's my first week back, but it's so worth it.

I've always hated running, mostly because I'm naturally more of a sprinter than a long distance kind of person. But since I've actually put some effort into it, I really enjoy it now. When I can't run as long as I want to, I get kind of mad at myself for not sucking it up. I used to only be able to run for literally 2 minutes and I had to stop and my throat would hurt and I'd get a side ache...haha yeah I was pathetic. Now I can run a good 1.5-2 miles without stopping, which is a huge accomplishment for me. And I love that I'm getting better about speeding up my mph as I go farther.

I'm kind of stressed out with life at the moment, and I'd love more than anything to be running. It's so nice to just blast music and run your worries away and/or have time to think about everything. I think the thing I love the most about me working out is the fact that it's had a part in making me a little more comfortable with myself. The first time I stepped foot in a gym, it was instant anxiety. I felt so out of place and dumb because I didn't know how to do anything. But then you realize that no one is looking at you as much as you think, everyone is there for the same reasons, and it's just some really good time to focus on yourself. Now I'm a little more confident and I don't really care if anyone's watching me or not, and that habit has overlapped into other areas in my life. It's also helped me push myself a little bit harder and helped me realize I can do a lot more than I think I can.

Well I must be going, but like I said I will update you all with pictures soon!

My Home Away from Home.

So I suppose this is long overdue, but I will finally tell you all about work, since it's where I spend the majority of my time. I am not exaggerating when I say I eat all my meals there. Sad? Probably. Okay who am I kidding. It's ridiculous.

I just passed my 8-month mark at Myler Disability. It's a law firm where we help people get approved for disability and social security benefits. I started out in the department known as the DLC, which is the new claims department. Potential clients will either call in or go to our website and leave us their basic information...name, phone number, their disability, and if they're seeing a doctor or not. That short questionnaire gets sent as an email to a team leader over whatever region the client lives in, and the team leader sends it to you to call and try to start an application. You basically prepare the application for them before it gets sent on to the social security office. A completed application is known as an intake. When you begin, it's normal not to get more than 7 intakes a day. You're supposed to get 15 day. It's kind of competitive, and people get fired for not reaching their goals. Well after 3 weeks, I was probably still doing about 6 or 7 intakes, and I had a crazy dream I was going to get fired. The next morning I was on the phone with a client and my boss came up behind me and put a note on my desk asking to see me in his office. I was so nervous and I'm sure he could see my heart pounding. He then proceeded to ask me if I would rather work in the front office as a receptionist. I was so relieved...I'd do anything as long as I didn't get fired!

So since the last week in June I've been in the front office department. There are currently 8 of us. Our job duties consist of answering and transferring every phone call to the correct person, picking up/opening/delivering every piece of mail (as the 5th largest disability law firm in the country, that's ALOT of mail), listening and transferring over 100+ employees voicemails, and scanning and uploading all the important documents. I graduated from answering the phones in December and have been full-time on the scanning/uploading side of front office since the beginning of the year. Considering the monotany of it and the crazy people we have to talk to, I really enjoy the people I work with, and that makes me love my job. I don't want to work there forever, by any means, but I don't wake up in the morning and dread going. Which is a good sign.

This may sound weird, but one of my favorite parts of it all is delivering the mail to the employees. I have gotten to know everyone in the office that way, and usually people come to me to ask who someone is or where they sit because I know it like the back of my hand. I really try to always smile and be friendly to everyone, and it's definitely paid off. I've made some good friends that way (Yes you, Tash!). I love to be able to answer questions and show people how to do things. I tend to visit alot, because that's just my nature, as you know, but that actually got me in a little bit of trouble last week...haha. But in the end I work hard and am productive. I love going home at the end of the day feeling accomplished.

So there you have it, my life for the time being.

I swear...

...one of these days I will have internet at my apartment and will better be able to blog! I seriously can't believe that besides my stupid little "I'm alive" statement in September, I haven't done anything with this since the week before I started my new job. Ugggh. I am a horrible person. I went out with some friends from my ward last night (Becky, Lisa, and Kate) and a couple other girls that Lisa knew to see another fellow ward member, Aaron Shaw, dance at a concert at BYU. He was awesome! Before that, we were eating at Pizzeria 712 in Orem and discussing our blogs...or for me, lack of posting. And they have inspired me to get my butt back into gear! I really only have access to internet at work and if I go to the library, so if I'm a little slow getting started, I apologize. But the intention is there! That reminds me of something my Government teacher in high school told me. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Miller, you're on your way!" Good old Mr. Gilbertson. Okay okay I'll do it! But I'll have to sacrifice the 1 block walk to the library. Wow can you say lazy...

It's been a loooong time...

Wow. Did I really just go the whole summer (and then some) without posting at all? Hahaha I can't help but laugh that the last time I updated was May 27th. Well, here I am, 4 months later...not any cooler or more exciting than I was then....


....Yeah that's really sad. Hopefully an update to come soon. Don't hold your breath, though.